Personally, I prefer new day’s resolution, or new afternoon’s resolution, or for that matter, new hour’s resolution. It is an easier practice of mindfulness for me. Over a shorter span of time, I can accumulate small triumphs, that gradually grow into big ones. When I stumble, I know I can start afresh in the next hour, or minute, and not have to wait a whole year to begin anew. Xo#WishpathHypnotherapy#EverythingBeginsAsAWish
Being human is MESSY!! It is humbling to see one’s own shadow, but we can’t grow without knowing it intimately. Svadhyaya is the yoga Niyama of self-study. When we practice Satya, or truthfulness with ourselves, we can hold a more empathetic, loving and patient space for others. Xo 🙏🏻💘
Thoughts create our realities and are the causes of all the physical and verbal actions we take. Given that most of us aren’t totally sure what exactly thoughts even are…. It is always amazing to me how much authority we give the thoughts and beliefs that float through our own minds. We assume they are correct without even knowing what they are. We use our minds to learn about everything, but understand very little about the mind itself. If there was a reality separate from mind, it would be experienced the same way by everyone. More than ever now, I take it as a great personal responsibility to watch my own mind for assumptions, prejudice and hate in all its gross to subtle aspects. It is the only thing over which I can have any control, and perhaps one of the ways I can improve the quality of my little corner of the universe. In general, if thoughts or beliefs drive actions motivated for the happiness of self and others, I think they are the closest ones to any sort of truth. Xo
Fork In the Road
I have energetic holding patterns, in my mind and in my body, that are familiar. I have a strong sense of self generated in relation to these holding patterns. I create my ME with a story that runs through my mind on repeat, and that sometimes spills out of my mouth as words that I use to describe myself to others.
This story effects how I stand and how I breathe, how I make choices, and how I experience the world around me.
Some parts of the story, others gave to me long ago, before I new how to filter and decide my own truths. Other parts of the story I created myself.
These mental and physical habits are easy to remember and I find it effortless to collapse back into them. Through repetition and familiarity they are my default. They are my normal.
Then I read books and hear new, inspiring ideas about healthier, happier mental and physical habits and I light up briefly inside, thinking, “YES, that is who I want to be”.
Trouble is, I feel great internal resistance to letting go of the old and therefore being able to experience the new.
The momentum of the old feels so solid and so real and so POWERFUL. Those energetic mental and physical habits feel like what is real and the new, just like someone else’s nice idea. Someone else’s possibilities and good fortune.
So sometimes I feel stuck at this fork in the road between who I am now and who I would like to be. Because, I can’t be both the old and the new at the same time. I can’t stand up straight and slouch at the same time. I can’t be patient and impatient at the same time. I can’t binge eat and eat mindfully at the same time. I can’t be worthless and worthy at the same time. I can’t be mundane and enlightened at the same time. Etc….
Eventually I have to choose between the two stories, between the two versions of ME. I have to decide, to which thoughts I am going to listen, and which thoughts I am going to shut down.
I have to change the story, because the story is everything.
If I continually recite the old story, I can’t be anything else. However much I want to be a calm person, if I continually recite “I am an anxious person”, to myself and to everyone I meet, I can not be anything other than an anxious person.
Some days, affirmations feel good to recite. Other days, they get completely shut down internally by the old stories saying, “No way…that’s not YOU.”
So for now, I am trying to change the story, the internal descriptors of my ME, to words which describe the transition phase I am in, rather than affirmations describing the positive endpoints that don’t yet feel authentic. “I am learning patience” vs “I have perfect patience.”
I have to be sly sometimes and subtle, so my old habits don’t get too riled up and shut the whole thing down.
The thing is, the thoughts aren’t as solid or strong as they seem. They seem like sound vibrations only, nothing solid at all. To be honest, I don’t really even know what thoughts actually are. Why then, do I give them so much authority? They come to life only when I identify with them.
By interrupting the old narrative when it arises, whenever I am able, I syphon away some of the energy supporting it, and I offer it to a new narrative. In those moments, a new ME emerges in my mind. Because this new me is based on transition and evolution, there is a feeling of energy moving again, instead of energy feeling stuck and locked in the old patterns.
Each time I do this, I take a step down the other fork in the road. I test it out, see if it feels better. I prove the new, through the improved quality of my own experience. I prove the new thoughts are safe and reliable and heaven forbid, joy-inducing. I create a new default, a new normal.
Now slouching doesn’t feel like what is comfortable anymore. Now mistakes are allowed and there is flexibility and there are options. I have found a new normal. I find more and more comfort and relief from healthy choices rather than relying on numbness and distraction as coping mechanisms. I breathe deeper. I say, “This is me.”
Of course, I still default to the old, familiar fork in the road and try to ignore that any other option exists, but I can’t escape the knowing of my own experience. The new fork waits patiently for me to try it out again. Each time I venture along it, it feels more and more familiar and easier to get to. Even a brief, momentary absence of the old me, sets off ripples and waves, sometimes tsunamis through my mind and presents endless possibilities of all that I can accomplish.
I often need help from others, family, friends, counsellors, teachers, to get back on to this other path, but ultimately the choice is always mine. The stronger choice or wish will always win out.
My mind can’t hold opposite ideas at the same time.
I imagine how amazing it must feel to become so familiar with the new mental and physical energetic holding patterns, that they become what is habitual, and easy to remember, and effortless. Through repetition and familiarity they are becoming the default. They are becoming the normal. An old story growing dim. A new story growing louder. A new me arises.
So this is me, in the hat I wore everywhere, in every season, about the age my daughter is now.
I was fortunate in my childhood; I was loved and I was safe. I know that this is not a guarantee for all children. Because I had this, I had an unfettered time before self-consciousness, self-doubt and self-deprecation took root in my mind. When I look at this photo, I know this little girl had not a moment’s hesitation about putting that outfit together and leaving the house. Story goes, outfits like this happened often the summer my mom was in summer school and my dad left me to my own devices.
I envy her confidence. I envy her feeling totally at home in her own skin before any ideas that she shouldn’t feel that way crept in. I envy her freedom of movement without worrying what it looked like. I envy her singing without worrying doubt how it sounded. My daughter currently lives in this elusive stage of life, and I love to watch how she fully inhabits her body, and how she loves it.
Identifying fully with self-love is my main intention these days, and the intention which motivates my work with others. I LOVE the kid in this photo! I feel determined to create a life which she deserves. She’s still inside me and I am so excited to feel her start to shine again, undeterred by everyone who needs “her” to stay hidden so they can make their fortunes in the fertile soul of “my” self loathing. Getting more and more in touch with her over the past couple of years, has helped me set standards and create boundaries in my life. I feel more at peace and more confident to explore, and more open minded of the paths others follow.
If this is something you are longing for too, I would love to share with you all that has helped me so very much. Please message me for details on consultations for yoga, hypnotherapy and shiatsu, to learn more about how these modalities can facilitate returning to your natural state. Come back home to LOVE. We do have this choice. We just have to wish for it more than we wish to hold on to the doubt and the pain. Then the healing can begin. xo #WishpathYoga #WishpathHypnotherapy#WishpathShiatsu #ElephantBikinisRule #ShareYourPicOfYourWeeSelf🙏🏻💘👙GC