Dysmorphia

Dysmorphia. For years, the way my body appeared to my mind was distorted.  My sense of self worth was tied to a belief that if I could just look a different way, I would be worthy, valuable, loveable and safe. This hallucination gave rise to bulimic patterns of binging, starving and extreme exercise…..all done in an attempt to manage the painful aspects of my human experience. I was miserable. Our senses are so very limited. We can’t see the way things actually exist. Solidity is an illusion.  My body…. what is it other than a collection of trillions of cells that are constantly turning over?  When I started studying yoga, shiatsu and meditation, I was presented with an esoteric view of my body, that was even subtler than the one I’d gleaned from my years of studying biology, chemistry and physics. I learned that my body holds within it meridians and energy.  My mind and my physiology are constantly dancing with and affecting one another. For the first time ever my body became more than arbitrary sizes and dimensions and perceived problems and flaws.  These studies also offered effective tools and ways to cope with painful feelings and experiences, so that I no longer needed my bulimic habits.  Greater still, I learned that my human body and experiences are actually necessary conditions for transforming adversity into enlightened states of consciousness that bring benefit to others.  So, if you struggle in these ways, let me know if I can help you. I would be honoured to share with you  all that others have shared with me to help me heal and move beyond my eating disorder. I believe it is especially challenging in this social media world of filtered images and photoshop to feel comfortable in our bodies and to relate to them in meaningful and healthy ways. I mean come on… size zero? Who came up with that? Why would trying to become “nothing” ever be touted as a beneficial aspiration or a method to achieve happiness and self worth?  #WishpathYoga #WishpathHypnotherapy #Shiatsu  #Orthorexia #Bulimia #Anorexia #SizeZero #ProAna #straightcurvefilm #SelfLove #Meditation #Meridians #InfinityForgeImages #Fat #Skinny #IFeelGross #WhatEvenAreFeelingsAnyway